I think maybe I even had opinions that counted. People cared what I thought long enough to let me finish a sentence. So how did it come to this? Where not even what's left of my own close friends and family really care whether I'm around or not as long as I continue to exist so they don't have to deal with the ramifications should that no longer be the case. Christ I was a fucking person once in my own right. I had stuff to say about music and films and people would listen and therein lies the problem. I have nothing to say anymore. But why? fortunately I know why, but regrettably it turns out it's my own fault and that's fine. So I'm responsible for ruining my own life and so responsible for putting it back together. Oh sorry that would be too easy. You still need willing volunteers to sacrifice their time in order to revalidate your existence. Precious few people now remember the person I once was and too many have resigned themselves to tolerating the person I am now and have been for many years so why would they want to spend time getting to know you again. Somewhere something went badly wrong. I went badly wrong. I want to put this right I want the people who used to hang on my every word but now hang on the words of others to fucking listen to me again. I have woken up. I am alone and I am very very angry.
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